I can summarize this “texting dating dance” in one word, LAAAZY. Sure texting can be useful and fun but when you are dating someone and getting to know them, texting is not the way to have a full blown conversation. Pick up the phone if you care to get to know someone. Some people say they don’t like to talk on the phone. That’s a cop out.  If a person is interested in you, they will take the time to get to know you via “old school” conversation.

Maybe this article is more geared to the 30’s plus crowd.  I admit that the people dating in their early twenties have been brought up with a different culture of technology in which texting may not be offensive. I was at a wedding recently and my 20 year old sister was sitting next to her friend at this beautiful establishment and they were texting each other! 

I still stand firm that if a man/woman you are dating insists on texting as their main form of communicating then they are NOT that interested in you. Set a standard and do not accept those “crumbs of love.” Phone me or forget it. Don’t waste your time building a relationship built on texts that you think were complimentary.

Do you have a dating/relationship/singles cruise question for Shelby?  Ask away at Shelby@singlescruise.com.

Why is it that when you are single for a long time people tend to jump to the conclusion that there is something wrong with you? Why don’t they praise you for waiting for the right person to share your life with?

I don’t think most of the unattached guests on SinglesCruise.com are “single for a reason.” I think they just aren’t settling. It’s difficult to find the right match where the person that feels as strongly about you as you do about them. This is no easy task. Most of our singles know that when you do find the right person it still takes work and relentless commitment to make that match last. So there is no benefit by simply being in just any old relationship, simply to ensure you are not single.

SinglesCruise.com has a 60%-70% return rate. Our cruisers like to make friends, they like to laugh, and they are a lot of fun but do they want a relationship? Yes, I believe that 99% of our frequent cruisers do want to find “the one.” I believe that they are waiting for the right match and it’s not easy to find the right match and while they are looking for “the one” a singles cruise is a great place to be part of!

It’s not easy to be single but it’s MUCH better to be single than to be with someone you are not happy with. I applaud all of our single guests and say stand up, cheer and enjoy being single; and for those that wonder why you’re single….let’s sail right past them!

Once we are well into our 30’s and beyond most of us realize that the “dating scene” isn’t what it used to be. In our 20’s dating was like a circus ring of singles, a never ending refillable bottomless big gulp. There was always a single gal or guy at the party and they were always interested in “hanging out.” As we age we have a lot less time to “hang out.” We’re all trying to get to the top of the corporate ladder, buy the coveted car, pay off school loans and debt etc.  Life is busy.

So we cautiously enter the arena of ONLINE dating.  At first glance it looks like a super choice – we want to date and it’s a casual, no fuss way to do it.  I took part in online dating for a few years and realized it has some good points and some bad points. I dated like it was my second job for one whole year! I have horror stories, funny stories and I even had a 6 month relationship out of it. I know it’s here to stay but here are a few things I think you should keep in mind, especially if this is your first crack at it:

1. First of all, if a person doesn’t actually want to meet after the first three emails than I wouldn’t even bother with them – they are just playing games. If you meet and their picture is grossly out of focus with reality, I also wouldn’t bother with them. It’s important to realize that one huge factor with online dating is that most people are emailing and seeing a lot of different people. This is the part that is rough and hard to get used to. You rarely have anyone’s full attention, as they are usually interested in keeping their options open for something better to come along. It really changes the dating dynamic.

2. My advice is to date “lightly”.  Dating “lightly” means you don’t need to do a real dinner date on the first encounter, just meet them in a casual atmosphere for say a cup of coffee. One of the reasons I think taking a singles cruise is so wonderful is that you get to meet singles without the work up of a date. I don’t care how many emails you’ve exchanged – until you meet someone and look them in the eye you really have no idea if there is a connection. There is a lot less pressure if you simply meet before having a real date.

3. If there is a true connection with someone, it will be undeniable. Don’t take the bad dates too hard.  Many people who date online have been on a lot of bad dates successively so they are a bit cautious and they can be callous. Dating “lightly” also means you should discuss when you are dating exclusively and that means neither of you are dating someone else online or on land before you get intimate with them. There is nothing worse than dating someone and seeing them online on the date site you met on!  Don’t give up, it does open a lot of doors for you to meet new people and dating can be really fun.  Hopefully you will meet a few friends and of course never meet in a dark ally, at your home or lend them money for anything, that’s a scam!

If you want to share your online dating disasters, leave us a comment on our SinglesCruise.com Facebook page. We can always learn from others and I know there is a lot to learn!

Singles Cruise Group Dinner

We had nearly 100 single cruisers on our recent Spring Break singles cruise on the Carnival Liberty where we headed for St. Thomas, San Juan, and Grand Turk. Right from the start I knew this was a group that wanted to have some fun.  Even though it was raining heavily, no one let that dampen their moods.
We enjoyed two sea days with lots of fun activities planned and the weather continued to get a lot better as we sailed toward St. Thomas. 

Once we reached St. Thomas, the sun was shining and 20 guests in our group headed out on a sailboat for some sun, snorkeling and rum runners. As usual Captain Phil and his crew did a great job of keeping our group entertained. That night we had our world-famous karaoke party and everyone dressed in hippie clothes.  It was the best party of the week!

San Juan was an early day arriving at 7am and leaving at 3pm, so we left the ship early to meet up with our local guide for a tour of Old San Juan and some rum tasting too.  Everyone had a good time and our pal Victor did a terrific job as usual of touring and telling everyone the history of Old San Juan and Puerto Rico.

Our next stop was Grand Turk, and in Grand Turk you head to Margaritaville for fun, sun, drinks, food and lots of games.  The weather was perfect, and everyone loved this fun and beautiful island!  The next day was a sea day and everyone enjoyed the perfect weather heading back to Miami. 

We played games indoors and out, and everyone who came had fun.  That night we had a farewell party and e-mail exchange, followed up by dinner, dancing and packing.  Saturday morning came too fast for everyone.  We look forward to our next SinglesCruise.com cruise adventures!   See you soon, Harvey.

Paying for dinner is real point of contention these days, especially with the advent of internet dating. When you go on multiple dates weekly with different people that you are not sure you actually like, dating can become an enormous expense!  That coupled with the fact that most women make as much or more money than their male counterparts has people puzzled on who should flip the bill.

I’d like to solve this puzzle. If it’s a great date the man will pay, more specifically, he will want to pay and if the woman likes him she should not take this opportunity away from him. It’s a lovely way of sending the signal that you are interested in each other.  However, if either person is uninterested in the other than I suggest that you pay for your own tab.  This is more of a business meeting rather than a date. This way the interest level is clear on both parts. Chivalry is not dead in my opinion, it’s just confused from the new signs and the new times.  It’s true the world has changed and dating has changed but chivalry is simple and timeless.

Who should ask who out? An innate quality of most men is that a man likes the hunt!  If a man does not have the inclination to ask a woman out or introduce himself, he is probably not that interested.  If a woman asks a man out she will get his attention but that doesn’t mean she will have his interest. And ladies if all you want is short term interest (which is fine), go get ‘em girls! The reality is that the more a man works for a woman, i.e. gets nervous about asking her out and thinks about how to introduce himself, the more interested he will be in her. If a woman asks a man out the initial opportunity for him to work at getting to know her and invest his thoughts in her is lost. Men should do the courting.

Chivalry is not dead, it’s just resting because it’s tired and confused, let’s wake it up!

Do you have a dating, singles travel or singles cruise question for Shelby?  If so ask her at Shelby@SinglesCruise.com.  Your question could wind up in her next column!

Is it worth it?

I get asked this question a lot since the majority of SinglesCruise.com guests hale from the US and a fair amount from Canada – and we even have some international guests sail with us. So what are the chances that you will meet someone on a singles cruise that you actually like that ALSO lives next door? My opinion is that it’s not that likely. Some people think “What’s the point of trying to meet someone that won’t be geographically desirable?”

The fact that we actually have a pop culture term like “geographically desirable” is, in my opinion, so sad! If you are looking for a relationship with someone you hope to fall in love with and the importance of their location is so high that you don’t want to meet them if they don’t live in close proximity than I believe the importance of having a relationship in your life needs to be revaluated. It’s not as if we live on “Little House on the Prairie”. We are afforded so many possibilities these days that if travel is the big problem you have with falling in love, than I really don’t think that it will take much to get you out of a serious relationship, whether it be next door or next state.

LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS…Do they work? Good question. In my experience, the short answer to this question is that long distance relationships can work but only if you actually see each other frequently, at least twice a month and make a decision for one of you to move to the others area within a relatively short period of time, probably a year or two. This adds another element of risk because the reality is that most relationships don’t work out and the stakes are higher if it doesn’t work out and you have moved. Love is risky.

Is it worth the work? The answer is a resounding YES! I implore you to forget about geography, as all that can be changed. Honestly if you are really meant to be together moving will not be that big of a deal. The world is much smaller than it ever was, transportation and air travel have really bridged the gap for love. Although it’s possible to pack all your belongings, sell your house and leave your friends, I know it’s not easy and it may not be an option for you. But if the ONLY reason you are not pursuing someone you think you may fall in love with is because they don’t live close, simply put, you are missing out.

You are not supposed to able to live with everyone, that’s what makes finding them all the more special. So don’t go out and move cross country on a whim during the honeymoon period. This is serious, but don’t decide not to date someone because they don’t live next door, that’s not smart either. Take your time and follow your gut, talk a lot about your fears and worries so you can both make the best decision. It’s compromise but that’s all love is. On a personal note, I really recommend falling in love with someone from your own country because the immigration process is a real pain in the butt…ahhh but I love him.  Talk soon everyone!

20s and 30s singles cruisers

Were you on our ever popular 20s and 30s Spring Break cruise?  We had 230 singles join us on our sold out cruise.  We even had over 30 people on our wait list with people calling us up until the very last day trying to get in our group.  Remember to sign up early for our SinglesCruise.com 2013 20s and 30s Spring Break singles cruise or you really may miss the boat!

SinglesCruise.com shore excursion

Tara’s Top 10 List for Spring Break 2012
10) Good Morning!  Good Morning? I haven’t even been to bed yet – I’ve been up making jello shots.
9) (Group Photo) Ok, I’m only going to snap 5 pictures…smile!  Ok, 1 more….wait wait….2 more shots!
8)  What time do we need to be there? When? Hey, what time are we meeting at? Where are we at? What Island?  Where do we need to meet at?
7) Cabs are here! Cabs are here!
6) Does anyone know what I did last night?
5) Drinking out the bar in Cozumel!
4) Team Dysfunctional
3) (from the crew)  Tara, we had to restock the entire bar after your orientation party.
2) Ya buddy!
1) I am having the time of my life!

Why Singles Take a Singles Cruise Vacation:

Misconception #1: To Get — ahh hmm “Intimate.”
I understand that this may be true for some people but I do not believe this is the intention for the majority of the crowd. This is not the #1 reason people cruise on a singles cruise.

Real Reason #1: To Have Fun & Make New Friends
This is, in my opinion, is the #1 reason all of our cruisers sail with us, again and again. We have a 60-70% return rate. Cruising on a singles cruise is FUN, FUN, FUN! It’s a laugh and you are allowed to be a little more wild than normal and let’s face it, it’s fun to get a little wild, laugh until your belly aches and dance up a storm every now and again.

Misconception #2: To Meet their Soul Mate. Blech!
This is NOT the reason most people cruise with us. I understand, most of us would love to meet Mr./Mrs. Right but keep that in the back of your mind, like it would be a “bonus” if it did happen. You shouldn’t go on a cruise to wish it so and make it happen. And yes, it does happen. We have had about 2-3 marriages a year that I’ve been aware of resulting from SinglesCruise.com connections. Of course we are very happy for anyone that finds love but most of our guests find fantastic friendships.

Real Reason #2: Travel with Others
Many people try a singles cruise for the first time because they don’t want to travel alone and their friends are all married or broke. Ding ding ding…. this probably ranks #2 in reasons why people go on a singles cruise. They have the money and time to travel but their friends are broke or busy being parents or partnered so they have no one to travel with. SinglesCruise.com is the perfect solution.

What’s your reason for cruising with SinglesCruise.com? And do you have a tantalizing question to ask Shelby?

Our singles cruise group took over the pool bar at Margaritaville in Grand Turk and some of us took over a party bus in Aruba. Curacao was beautiful and the cruisers loved this exotic itinerary. How fun is it to bask in the sun in late January?! Too much fun… Our karaoke party was one of the best ever! Cindy and Susan started the fun and got the crowd going, thank you!

Our white party on this cruise had an interesting new twist. Thanks to our Facebook group page, our guests decided to change the party to a “Winter White Party with Wigs”. What a fun night – we actually had Marilyn Monroe show up! (You looked great Patty!) Every cruise is great and this one ranked right up there with the best. Our guests were up for everything as long as it was a good time!

Don’t miss our 2013 7-Night Football Fan Singles Cruise.  We are looking forward to seeing you again soon, we were thrilled to be your hosts!  

Lesa and Shelby

The ship had a huge dance party on the pool deck for New Years! The big outdoor movie screen featured music and the Times Square New Years Eve countdown. As the big moment got close, it was time to lift the champagne glasses to toast your friends ,cheer and then kiss people you don’t even know! That was fun.

The weather for this entire cruise was excellent – clear sunny skies and the sea was calm for most of the trip. The group was fun and everyone really came together as one big SinglesCruise.com bunch. In St. Thomas the catamaran ride and snorkeling was great fun, and the Beach party in St. Maarten was a blast too.

The Carnival Dream is one of the newest ships in the Carnival fleet and it’s beautifully decorated. All the SinglesCruise.com events, games and parties were well attended and everyone had a lot of fun at all of them. I know we made a lot of first time singles cruisers believer’s when we said welcome to your new addiction, because I know they will be back.  We’ll be venturing onboard Carnival’s newest ship – the Carnival Breeze – on our 8-night Eastern Caribbean holiday singles cruise next December.  Please join us!

See you soon! Harvey